“.. Some people think that if I really loved it, none of that would matter.(None of the reasons I’d stated earlier.)
I loved it. I really loved it. I'm so sad that love is gone. Quitting is like getting a divorce or something. Like a part of my heart is being torn out of me every time I remember that that love left. I wanted to enjoy it, I wanted to like it and to be happy in class again. I tried, I tried I tried. But it didn't come back. I had to leave. It was time. 5 months of misery is enough to make anyone quit.
All of these thoughts are killing me. Ballet Tyler has been my life for the past fours years. If I wrote a list of all the performances I've done.. well, it would be really long. I have to turn Ballet Tyler into a wonderful phase of my life that has now ended. All good things have to come to an end sometime, only God will last forever.”
February - Here I started dancing at YWAM three days a week. YAGP, the competition I had been planning on competing in, happened the first weekend of February, and I was NOT happy those two or three days. It was hard for me to imagine my friends there dancing and watching, and I wasn’t. Still, the fact that I could enjoy life without Ballet Tyler was amazing me. I think I re-found my identity in this month. In my mind, dance defined who I was as a person, which is why such tragedy was caused in my heart when I quit. But here I began to find my identity fully in God, and being His daughter. I now know, that more than anything else, that fact defines me.
March - I’m thinking, as I look back through my journal, that March was the month of friendship. Clara and I were only able to hang out once every two weeks, which was extremely hard.. but that restriction just made every moment of our time spent together sweeter. I also began getting to know Bethany and Alisha Pratt, two God-sent friends who I love dearly. Entries about riding motorcycles with Daddy, reading books, drinking tea, and other such happenings, show how much I began to value the little things.
April - David Karp Piano Festival and YWAM dance recital, Rayleigh’s birthday party, True Love by Phil Wickham, Kathrine’s birthday weekend in Dallas, Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen and Captivating by John and Stasi Eldrege, and the LACK of Ballet Tyler shaped the month.
May - Nothing too exciting happened, but Ballet Tyler was entering back into my life. I went to their school recital, and took a ballet class from Ms. Kym. It was also the ending of school, which brought much joy. :)
June - The Roquemores moved. I was very, very sad. Especially while at... Rockin’ C! Oh, Rockin C’ was such a good thing for me and this summer. The people I met, the things I learned, and the memories I gained are cherished greatly. Extreme Camps! This was a hard week, but so good also. I was sick nearly the entire time, which immediately put a damper on things, but I grew a lot. Ben Ambler and I climbed a telephone pole and jumped of it, only to grab onto a trapeze bar. I had many good talks with good friends, and... I’m smiling now. :)
July - I began to dance at TJC with Mrs. Thereza, I think it was twice a week. Life was hard this month.. mom was gone for a long time, in Guatemala and Colorado. I felt as though I was holding the house together. I missed my mom a lot.
Yay! My dear sister Abigail graduated from Teen Mania and came home!
Everything went crazy this month! I had my whole school schedule and stuff worked out, when I last minute signed up for two TJC classes! This greatly effected my whole semester. On Monday, August 30th, I went to my first academic class in my entire life.
September - During this month I was schooling, dancing, singing in the youth group worship band, working towards my license, and making new friends. September was an interesting month.
October - Here, I and many other people from youth group learned, practiced, and performed a drama called Freedom. It was a good enough experience that I wrote an essay about it. Clara was the lead character and in it her character was hurt and pulled around by the Devil. Even watching Clara play this role hurt me.. because the idea was so disgusting. From being in this drama things were put into perspective for me, and I was shown how much God’s heart breaks over his people who are hurt.
November - Dance, dance, dance! I had an increasing amount of rehearsals for The Christmas Ballet and The Nutcracker as well as finals coming up, which caused me to be extraordinarily busy. Mrs. Shurrell asked to choreograph a contemporary for me for YAGP! She said she was really impressed with my hard work and dancing.
December - There is so much I can say about this month, I don’t know what to pick.. Dance was a very significant part of this month. Oh my gosh.. I danced almost non-stop for two weeks. With four roles in the Nutcracker, I was ridiculously busy during rehearsals.. running back and forth between the dressing room and auditorium, barely stopping for breath. I was also able to play the Sugar Plum Fairy for the school shows which was an awesome opportunity. The Nutcracker was a wonderful performance for me, where I got to enjoy dance more than usual, and show that joy onstage.
Now my thoughts are directed towards Christmas, New Years, Onething, YAGP, and much much more.
I originally meant this to be the main things learned each month.. it kind of turned into my life for the past year. But this year's life has been good. I also had pictures positioned perfectly and other such things.. but this is too long anyway. Writing this is a way to look back on everything that has happened.
I hope you enjoy reading this... though there is no guarantee. Mine isn't the most interesting of lives. :)
