A lesson from Psychology 2301

     In my Psychology textbook I was reading about operant learning,  where you do something and, as a result, receive either punishment or reinforcement. Children who do something wrong are punished, and by that punishment learn not to do that wrong thing anymore. As christians, we are sometimes punished for loving the Lord and sharing about Him. According to my textbook we should be learning not to share about the Lord anymore because we're being punished.

     We cannot allow ourselves learn that.  In order to make a difference in this world, to bring glory to God, we must be willing to receive punishment, and fight against our natural tendencies to flee things that hurt. 

     We hear stories of martyrs who gave up their lives because they would not renounce the Lord. Also of missionaries who continually go back to tell people of the Lord regardless of the consequences. Some people get rejected multiple times and never give up. They are the ones who hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant," when standing before the Lord. That's what it takes.


     It is easy to magnify the things that hurt, forgetting that the good outweighs the bad by huge degrees. It's so important to remember the blessings we receive by being followers of Christ. 

     "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being   renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." - 2 Corinthians 4:16-17

Spring Break '11

     I'm afraid I've been a serious blog-neglecter lately. I'm now attempting to come out of this phase of writer's-block, (hahaha), and enter back into the world of blogging! Luckily I have a great event to spur me on in my writing.

     SPRING BREAK.


     This year's spring hiatus from school and responsibility I deviated from my normal break activities and took a road-trip to Colorado! It seems like it must be common knowledge that I very strongly dislike road-trips. My history of car-sickness phobia will explain a lot of this to you.

     Anyway, with more than a few qualms I signed up for a youth group snowboarding trip to Ski Cooper in Leadville, Colorado. With the incredibles, Randy and Bethany Olsson, heading it up, I knew it would be an adventure and didn't want to pass up the opportunity.

     I arrived at Ski Cooper as a beginner snowboarder and left the same.. I was brave to the point of recklessness and have the bruises to show for it. After nearly four days of not snowboarding I still feel as though I fractured my tailbone.

     Regardless of my inherent tendency to fall down increased by the fact I was fastened to a board at the top of a very steep and icy hill, I managed to have a great load of fun and want to return soon! My hope is that this trip will become an annual one so that I'll be able to improve my snowboarding expertise. :)

     Due to laziness I'm not going to give you a day-by-day account of the trip, though I assure you it would be very interesting.. here are some pictures to give you the gist of the trip.

Here we are, awaiting the arrival of the rental vans so we can begin our trip, estimated at 24 hours.

Fortunately for us girls, it worked out seating-wise for these for guys to be squashed in the back-most seat in the van, leaving the women the more spacious three-person car seats.

Here are my road buddies, Bryn and Abigail. :)

Snapshots of Peter, Justin, and Caleb in stage 4 sleep. Hahaa.

Snow and mountains came as the van sped closer to our destination.

After arriving, getting the vans stuck and unstuck in the snow, we spent a few minutes taking pictures in the winter wonderland of Colorado!

Clara and I in our snowboarding getup!

Caleb, Justin and I at the top of the mountain. (Or.. was it the bunny slope? ;)

The Lord's glorious masterpiece

Getting to wake up and see the sun rise over these mountains was such an enormous blessing.  

A New Semester

Hello, friends! 

I feel as though things have been running non-stop! I'm sure it is mostly my own fault. I'm always filling the rare, free moments with something else, barely giving myself a time to think. The only time I sit and read the Bible or write in my journal is after 11 PM when everyone else in the house has gone to bed and I'm nearly asleep. Because free time is so scarce I feel the need to put it to good use and spend with friends that I wouldn't otherwise get to see! This isn't how it always works out, though.. so today I only left the house once! Are you proud of me? You shouldn't be.. I wanted to go to Rockwells and Kathrine's and various other places, but the opportunities never arose so I was forced to content myself with home and Brookeshire's.

This week I started school again after the six-week long Christmas break! I was somewhat ready to go back after having such an erratic holiday. I think.. I flourish on routine.  This semester my schedule is somewhat erratic itself! I have classes at three different locations, all in one day! Things have been simplified by the canceling of one the dance classes I taught and two dance classes I took last semester, which helps keep things manageable. 

On Monday, Martin Luther King Jr. day, I found out some horribly unfortunate news regarding my classes. All of the TJC courses I'd signed up for at Teen Mania had been abolished due to lack of enrollment! Ah! I was something like devastated. I had stressed so much, trying to get registered for those classes! I'd been planning my life for the next five months according to THIS schedule with THESE classes. Anyway, we had to call the next day and re-enroll me for classes.. that is why my classes are in three different places (online, Lindale, and Tyler) rather than at Teen Mania where I had originally planned for them to be. 

These classes aren't the only things that have been different from what I'd intended or expected for this semester. I thought that I had worked everything out perfectly, and when things were changed I was devastated! I've been forced to believe that my plan wasn't the right one after all and the Lord had something else in mind. It is true, my plans don't always coincide with the ones that the Lord has.. but I know His are so much better than my own so I'm content to follow Him! 

"For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere.

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness. 
For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor.

No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.

O Lord of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!" - Psalm 84:10-12

Letter to Mom

"The sweetest sounds to mortals given, are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven." - William Goldsmith Brown

Hi Mom! I'll be in Heaven when you, my mother, are home. :)

Here comes the "Malorie epistle" you requested. After sending my previous, lengthy email I realized I'd failed to ask you at all about your trip! How silly of me.. I'm veryyy interested! How are you doing? Ready to come home yet? 

I'm SO ready to have you home, Mom. I do think I'll survive a few more days, but I'm predicting that by Thursday I'll be having a complete and total breakdown. I need you in my life! 

You'd like to know about New Years camp? I feel as though whenever something extremely fun happens and I go to write about it, I lose interest! Very odd.. but describing certain things that I enjoy very greatly is difficult for me!

As I said.. I enjoyed myself greatly. By 12:15 AM, January 1st, I was most definitely ready to be home.  I went Wednesday night, the camp started Thursday. Some of Wednesday and all morning on Thursday was spent decorating for the luau that was to happen. Camp had a Hawaiian theme this year which I think you're already aware of. In the end the Lodge looked ridiculous, exactly how we wanted desired! Nearly every item came straight from the Oriental Trading Company or a garage sale.

There were five girl CITs and only four girl cabin groups. They normally have CITs in the two younger groups and day camp, but day camp doesn't exist during New Years. So! I ended up with the Mustangs, the oldest group of girls! Many of them were fourteen, nearly fifteen. It was a new experience, having campers who were only a few years younger than me. These girls who seemed so young were only a year behind my two best friends! I think I work better with the Texans, but I really enjoyed trying something different. I also had kitchen duty all weekend. I had the second shift, after lunch 'til clean-up after supper -- 12:30 to 8:30. I didn't mind at all, but it would of been nicer if I were either working in the kitchen or working as a counselor rather than trying to do both. It was exhausting and it sad that I wasn't able to get to know my campers very well. There is a new cook, Heidi, and I love her! It was weird adjusting, after working in the kitchen with Ms. Rachel for so many years, but it was fun! Heidi said we were her best kitchen workers and asked Mr. Matt if they could hire us full-time. :)

Yesterday I ended up leaving right after the campers left instead of cleaning the whole ranch.. Hannah was home and I didn't want to miss my only opportunity to see her! I'm so glad I did come home! In the evening Blake, Zach, Richard, and Aaron stopped by for twenty minutes on their way to Tyler and I learned that Rockin' C paid $30-$50 extra to anyone who filled out an application right then! Ughh! I've already sent mine in and didn't get any extra money! Haha, I suppose I don't mind losing that money too much.. I didn't have to clean.

When leaving the ranch, the first thing I wanted to do was have Kat over! And that is what I did! She came over this afternoon too. I picked her up from work and then we headed to Brookshire's to buy supplies for a cheesecake! After buying our groceries I realized I was missing my keys. We scanned the store, looking everywhere we'd walked, but the keys weren't to be found! I figured they'd be in the truck.. and they were! Abigail came to the rescue with the spare key and we headed home. Though extended somewhat, the trip to Brookshire's was still successful. We made an AWESOME cheesecake. It's title is "Autumn    Cheesecake." It was cinnamon, apples, and pecans. Yummmmmyy. 

-- Kathrine and I put pecans on only half of it because I'm not a fan of them. We also went on a wonderful walk. Bundled up in our coats and scarves, we were protected from the cold and were able to enjoy the sunset. --

This evening I finished my book, The Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams. I'm feeling very inspired! The whole book is little stories and the things the author, Randy, learned from them. The whole time I was reading this book, reading of his vibrant life and experiences I knew he was no longer alive. Randy Pausch wrote the book while dying of terminal, pancreatic cancer and he only had a few months left to live. It was something of a memoir, something for his kids to read when they're older. Anyway! I looooved it.

I am feeling a little impatient about life. Hannah's pregnant, Abby's getting married, and all I have is a long road of school stretched out in front of me. It is irritating. I guess it could be comforting, I have something of a plan for once.. I know what I'm doing. I have an end goal, school is the means to the end. But see, I get my satisfaction by finishing things.. journals, books, classes, etc. so being here in the middle doesn't hold much pleasure for me. In some ways I wish I wasn't in college yet, then I would be feeling the joy of nearly being done with high school!  When I graduate nothing much will change, so I it isn't any fun. Aaah! I'm impatient right now.

Okay! Going to bed now. I hope you enjoy this letter, in my normal, rambling style. 

I love you so much and I hope you're having a blessed trip! Praying for you, and Nu, Mats, and Andrea. 

Your Mal 

P.S. I'm loving this right now. "But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit." (I bet you already know what the reference is and have the verse memorized.) -- 2 Corinthians 3:16-18

Thanksgiving

I'm thankful for..

.. my friends.

.. family.

.. birthdays.

.. trees.

.. Harry Potter.

.. Books.

.. music.

.. dance.

.. work.

.. the picture of trees in my room.

.. good grades in school.

.. grace.

.. Abigail.

.. Nutcracker.

.. my red fuzzy blanket.

.. Arlo.

.. candles.

.. internet.

.. the Bible.

.. and the list is never-ending. Isn't it amazing how many things there are to be thankful for?

This week was truly wonderful. The first few days were spent going to see Harry Potter.. twice, hanging out with friends, and reading books, but it all climaxed in the best Thanksgiving I've had for years! On Thursday morning Abigail and I woke up to mom asking us to help her cook. With fear and trepidation I began to cook bacon successfully for the first time in my seventeen years! In three hours we made rolls, green bean casserole, (Not the canned mushroom soup and frozen vegetables green bean casserole, but yummy homemade stuff), sweet potato casserole, pecan tassies, and apple crisp. Around 1 we were joined by Scott and Derek who were soon followed by the Babcocks who completed our group. With all ten of us squeezed around one table, we enjoyed the meal thoroughly, eating copious amounts of delectable food -- much more than our stomachs could comfortably handle.

We completed the day with much pleasure.. watching The Italian Job, singing songs with the piano, and whatever leisure activities that our overfed, lazy selves took pleasure in.

I love Thanksgiving because it reminds us to count our blessings. (Of course the excuse to eat tons of food and the time off of school are welcomed gladly.) There are so many things.. hot water, air conditioning, internet, electricity, etc. that we constantly take for granted, forgetting that they aren't just ordinary items that are automatically ours. The Lord gives us these things, knowing how unnecessary they are, because He delights in us and loves to bless us. I'm blessed.

A Reminder

 I've spoken a bit about life's monotony, how I tend to become discontent. What can keep me motivated?

I constantly have to remember that however futile studying for a math test may feel right now, if I study, I get a better grade, if I get a better grade, I get into a better college --  I get a better education, I get a better job..  this is just a small example. My decisions and actions now will effect my life forever even if it is hard to see right now.

Though school and work seem boring, I remind myself that I'm in the Lord's will and that this is where he wants me to be. I know the Lord can see the whole picture, he knows what is best -- thus, this is the best place for me to be. The Lord doesn't waste time. In reality, by having a bad attitude or procrastinating I'm just wasting His time.

These are the things I think about daily, among others of course.

It is so important to believe that God has your best interest at heart, and He knows what it best for you. 
Remember, He doesn't make mistakes.

Update!

I'm going to give you a bit of an update on my life! There are very many random things happening but I'll just pick a few to write about.. 

I’m content right now.  I had a fire this morning, daddy made it for me. I rolled out of bed at 7:45 with less than the usual lethargy,!... Much to my father's astonishment. After seeing the fire and becoming very happy I made pancakes for Abigail and I. Most of the morning, I was found by the fire reading my book. I’ve now finished a homework assignment and feel very accomplished. I now have the rest of the day to spend in leisure. 

I’ve been listening to the song Conversations, by Sarah Groves. 

I don't know how to say this,

I don't know where to stand,

I don't know where to put my feet,

Or where to put my hands.

I've got them in my pockets,

My fingers are freezing cold,

They're wrapped around a ticket stub

That's four weeks old,

And I don't know how to say this.

I think we've figured out 

This world is bigger than you and I.

We've exhausted our wealth of knowledge 

And have no more answers for mankind.

We've had every conversation in the world 

About what is right and what has all gone bad, 

But have I mentioned to you that this is all I am, 

This is all that I have.

I'm not trying to judge you. 

No that's not my job. 

I am just a seeker too, 

In search of God.

Somewhere somehow this subject became taboo. 

I have no other way to communicate to you. 

This is all that I am. 

This is all that I have.

And we've had every conversation in the world 

About what is right and what has all gone bad, 

But have I mentioned to you that this is all I am, 

This is all that I have.

I would like to share with you 

What makes me complete. 

I don't claim to have found the Truth, 

But I know it has found me.

The only thing that isn't meaningless to me 

Is Jesus Christ and the way he set me free. 

This is all that I have. This is all that I am. 

It’s all that I have, and it’s all 

The only thing that isn’t meaningless to me 

Is Jesus Christ and the way he set me free. 

And this is all that I have. This is all that I am 

It’s all that I have, and it’s all that I am 

It’s all that I have, and it’s all 

I don’t know how to say this 

I don’t know where to start 

Just know that I care for you 

And I’m speaking from my heart

Love it. 

==================================================================

A few weeks ago I finished The Count of Monte Cristo! It is most definitely the largest book I've ever read, being nearly 1500 pages long,  and also possibly the best I've ever read! I started it back in May when we were on vacation at the ocean, figuring that if there was anytime to start a book of such a magnitude it would be while on vacation with no other obligations. I read a good chunk of it, at least three hundred pages,  but had to return it to the library. fail. After a time of searching I found it at Barnes and Noble and started it up again! I read the remaining 1100 pages in three weeks. I’ve never been so satisfied by a book.

Most of you probably know that last month, in response to ankle pain, I went to a sports doctor where I found I have tendonitis. Though manageable, tendonitis doesn’t go away. The pain isn’t horrible, but it is enough to keep from dancing, like today and yesterday. It is also enough to take the joy away from dance, which makes my life somewhat miserable since I spend the majority of my time dancing. Immediately after going to the doctor I took a few days off, hoping the inflammation would go down so that dancing wouldn’t be painful.. I think it did get better for awhile, but now after having been dancing intensely everyday, it has kicked in again. With two Nutcracker performances coming up next month I’m not at a place where I can stop dance, class and rehearsal are both necessary.. but three weeks off of it is probably the only thing that could help it.  This morning it was throbbing. Before, it only hurt during and after dance, but the pain is here constantly now. It is discouraging. It is hard to know when to rest and when to push through. The doctor said that if I don't rest it enough I'll end up having to rest it, but she also said that the tendon won't snap if I continue to dance. So, that’s one prominent thing going on in my life.. I’ve had dreams of being a professional dancer for years, but now I have the question of it even being possible! I know it would be hard and that I’m not near good enough in my dancing yet, even without the tendonitis and this injury could be more evidence that I'm not meant to be a professional dancer.. but I'm trying to take life a day at a time and not worry. I can't deal with the future until it comes, so I'll deal with today instead!

Last Saturday I drove to Carthage all by myself! Haha, I feel so grown up going on a trip on my own, but my excitement probably shows just how young I am. I know it isn’t that great of an accomplishment. There were some stressful moments, such as the moment I realized that I'd left my phone at home, or when I took a wrong turning, but overall it was a wonderful trip! I listened to the audiobook of Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix and it was very enjoyable. The purpose of that trip was to get to a dance rehearsal! I went to Rowe Performing Arts and Gym for a Nutcracker rehearsal. I've been hired to be the Sugar Plum Fairy! It was a good rehearsal. It is so odd to see the roles switched; I’m the guest artist now, and have kids asking me if I’m married! I'm so grateful for this opportunity and all the others that have come my way lately.. 

Overall, life is going well! I'm learning to be content.. school and work are very good at being tedious.. ;)

-Mal